By About the Book
Title: My Dark Vanessa
Author: Kate Elizabeth Russell
Published: 2020
Genre: contemporary fiction
My Rating: 5/5 stars
The Premise
Synopsis (from Goodreads):
Exploring the psychological dynamics of the relationship between a precocious yet naïve teenage girl and her magnetic and manipulative teacher, a brilliant, all-consuming read that marks the explosive debut of an extraordinary new writer.
My Thoughts
I knew this book would be a difficult read, but I did not expect it to be quite as good as it was. The subject matter might make it easy for such a book to stray into shock territory– and I do think some aspects of My Dark Vanessa, mainly the somewhat excessive rape scenes that were present, strayed into this territory– but overall the book was far more than something edgy. I’ve seen it described as “Lolita from the perspective of Dolores” and I think that is accurate.
The novel is told over multiple stages of Vanessa’s life: 2000, when she is a sophomore in high school; 2006-2007 when she is in college, and 2017 when she is 32. This narrative technique works perfectly for this story, as it is primarily a demonstration of how Vanessa was manipulated and groomed by her teacher, and how the “relationship” with him had lasting effects on the rest of her life. She adopts maladaptive coping mechanisms, finds her default romantic agency as the “younger temptress” because it’s what she remembers, has trouble identifying other victims as victims, and struggles with contradictions and denial about what the true nature of her experience was. Some days she describes it as rape, other days she thinks her 15 year old self was a willing participant and denies that Strane is a pedophile.
This book was very well-written, and I was glued to it all day, wanting to know if Vanessa would ever get closure. I was really impressed by the narrative skill especially as Russell is a debut author. Disturbingly, I also got the feeling that this was a true story, it felt so real– and I suppose it probably IS a true story in some sense0– especially to the far too many women who have gone through a similar thing. I was holding back tears as I watched Vanessa blame herself and wrestle with the feelings of innate disgust but perplexing attachment to her abuser.
“I can’t lose the thing I’ve held onto for so long, you know?” My face twists up from the pain of pushing it out. “I just really need it to be a love story, you know? I really, really need it to be that.”
“I know,” she says.
“Because if it isn’t a love story, then what is it”? I look to her glassy eyes, her face of wide open empathy. “It’s my life,” I say. “This has been my whole life.”
I hesitate to label this a book that I’d “recommend” enthusiastically, mostly, well, because of the subject matter of it. Of course people have different triggers and experiences, but I think that some of the scenes within this would be extremely upsetting to survivors of pedophilic abuse because of how detailed and graphic they are. However, I think this book was very well written and though heavy, a worthwhile read if you’re in the right headspace.
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